Justifiable reasons guys can give for breaking up...
She was “Aggressively unlikable” She was “Retching and dozing” She was “Tasteless as an Arabian cathouse” She was a “Flyweight bubblehead” She was “Fascist, superficial” She was “Bloated, wearyingly unsubtle, dramatically inert” “I cannot stomach another moment of the simpering, mincing, hair-tossing,...
Lindy West: "Sex and the City 2 takes everything... →
Oh the places you'll go.
Dad: This place is hopping. Is there a wedding going on or something?
Waitress: No, there's a graduation party for Centre College.
Dad: Centre College--is that a school around here?
Waitress: Yeah, it's a great school. It's Ivy League.
Observations from Kentucky
Dad: “Why would anyone want to live in Ohio when they could just come live in Kentucky?” Catfish is on the menu! Often in three different forms. Two of which are fried. Ginny’s Diner just outside of Somerset is really good. Not in the sense that the food is great or the service is fast. More like it could be a stand-in for Merlotte’s restaurant in True Blood. One third...
Top 5 jobs I wanted when I was five
Toll booth collector Conductor (symphony) Conductor (train) Archaeologist Museum curator
Listening to Russian balalaika/folk music embues one with the ability to drink substantially more vodka than one is usually able or willing to drink.
The penultimate viewing of Lost
Commercial: Maybe you want to plant a forest!?
JW: No, all I want to do is watch Lost!
My office is colder than a drug test on Dillo day.– LG
A crab isn’t a fish and a woman isn’t a person.– Russian peasant saying. The wisdom and philosophy that bursts forth from autocratically enforced serfdom…
Coffee grounds are one of the few things that when you put them into the...
[angrily]…because you talk about how you don’t shower...– Overheard outside my window
How do supervillains get their doctorates?
I was never a huge fan of superheroes growing up. Batman, Superman, Spiderman…they never really caught my interest. However, I do really enjoy the more campy, lesser-known superheroes. You know—the characters who never quite caught on. Ones with names like Matter-Eater Lad, he who possesses the power to eat matter in all forms. I guess that’s pretty cool? But last time I...
Dispatches from within the stacks (written in the...
UNIVERSITY LIBRARY — In the late hours of May the 2nd, a one-man search party is launched into the 947-952 section of Tower 4 East. The stakes are almost as high as the stacks: find two tomes authored by the academically-named Willard Sunderland and the ridiculously-named David Schimmelpennick van der Oye. Warm heavy air billows forth from the ventilation ducts and on out across the spiraling...